Facing Our RSD
/Have you ever felt like feedback hits you harder than others? You might be dealing with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), an ADHD symptom that's finally gaining the recognition it deserves.
What is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria?
Do you know that there is a good reason why certain things sucks extra hard for you or why that feedback you got stings more than you think it should?? Or maybe you're having these really big feels that don't quite make sense to you?
Sure, there is the literal fear of rejection, or increased sense of rejection, but it also impacts this whole cluster of feelings around our own sense of judgment about ourselves.
Here are some things RSD could look like:
- Our feelings tend to get hurt really easily
- We might over-interpret something to be negative
- We jump to the conclusion that people don't like us
- We often think people have more negative intentions than they actually do
- Our inner critic is extra aggressive with even more negative self-talk
- More intense and often imposter syndrome
- Worry about bothering other people
- Hard to ask for help
- Can feed into perfectionism because we don't feel like our work is 'good enough' (or okay at all)
- Assume things are our fault
- We don't notice or credit our successes-- fixate on what's left to do
- Lash out at someone with small amount of feedback because we're so tired from the criticism we've had internally
- Can feed depression when we're so hard on ourselves
RSD and Procrastination
Task avoidance is deeply tied to RSD. The often-unconscious fear of facing some tasks, combined with the volume of self-criticism, can make it incredibly hard to get started.
Why would I want to face that really old task that feels kind of like it's judging me for having not done it yet? Or if I start writing that letter, all the ways it might go wrong pop into my head. Or maybe it's that old pile of papers that sits there yelling at me, "Why haven't you put me away yet?" And if I start, then it's going to turn up that volume and make it a little bit more intense.
It gets really hard to face the things we wish we'd done already, and it makes it really hard to let go of our sense of previous failures.
Managing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Different approaches work for different people, and different professionals will recommend different things to combat RSD:
a boy outside reconnecting with nature, MEDITATING
- Therapy
- Mindfulness meditation to lessen the impact of those intense feelings.
- Medications, like alpha-2 agonists, might turn the volume down on tough feels and social rumination. (Talk to your doctor, etc)
- Learning to brace yourself hearing feedback from a trusted person (ask for a heads up)
- Just knowing that RSD is a thing can help us become more aware and combat it. We can change our narrative from "I'm horrible" to "that's the rejection sensitivity talking."
a boy celebrating a win
Focus on Your Wins
In our ADHD Guild Journeyman Group Coaching , we make it a point to share weekly victories. Celebrating even small wins helps refocus our minds on positive achievements, counteracting the hyper-focus on failures. This practice can make a big difference in how we perceive our accomplishments and self-worth.
When we acknowledge what we've actually accomplished, it gives us more energy to tackle the next thing.
How does rejection sensitivity show up in your life? I'd love to hear your experiences! Together, we can navigate the challenges of RSD and ADHD.
-- Brittany
Video on RSD: