Sometimes we don't get around to intimacy as often as we'd like. Brittany walks you through building a Shortcut to remove the... friction... of getting together and enjoying more time with your partner. Although this is intended for adult use, it is not gratuitous in any way. However, there are some tongue-in-cheek or wordplay references to the activities the Shortcut is intended to support.
This video is a wider-audience excerpt from Brittany's larger course. Apps of Steel: Using Technology Just for the Health of It is a course specifically for folks with ADHD, though anyone can use the strategies to get healthier in a realistic, sustainable way. Learn how technology interacts with your health, then improve your health by adding, or limiting, technology.
Using Shortcuts for Romance. Screenshot of Shortcuts app building a Shortcut to increase romantic evening, while Brittany tests the Shortcut.
Why this Shortcut Exists:
We're creatures of habit. This Shortcut is a home automation routine intended to set the mood for love and help adults enjoy each other's company, rather than getting stuck in a binge watching vortex every night. This Shortcut is for those times folks get in the habit of Netflix, but forget to “chill”. Or to set the mood for love with home automation. Because, what’s sexier than automation??
Link for the demoed Shortcut:
https://www.icloud.com/shortcuts/d094ed1b52f5477b8163f1beda9a1467
What the demoed Shortcut does:
- Turn Sleep Focus Mode on
- Get and play romantic music from HomePod
- Turn off the TV
- Turn on accent light
- Wait until ready
- Turn off overhead lights
Here's the longer, more complete Shortcut:
https://www.icloud.com/shortcuts/0008ca43ff164959ac070962a7907bc6
The complete Shortcut Actions:
- Shuts off the TV
- Suggests a randomized way to spice up the evening
- Turns on Sleep Focus Mode to avoid being disturbed or accidentally tapping on your Apple Watch
- Starts playing a romantic music playlist (with the option to automatically play on an external speaker)
- Sets the correct lights low
- Turns off the other (usually overhead) lights
- Turns on other devices to enhance the evening (Electric candle light? Aroma diffuser? IOT pet feeder?)
What you need to make it work:
This Shortcut is intended to run on iPhone, including by voice. Before customizing the actions, the user needs a playlist of mood-inducing music in the Music app.
Because this uses HomeKit, user needs to connect the actions to their own, equivalent HomeKit devices. Although any individual device type could be dropped without negatively impacting the overall Shortcut, this shortcut was design with: a smart HomeKit TV, color changing smart lightbulbs, and some smart outlet devices.
Setup questions are offered to customize all home devices, the playlist, and the personal enhancements. However, since HomeKit setup questions are kinda buggy, customization suggestions are also marked in comment with ***.
Suggested triggers:
- Voice. Alternative Shortcut titles are suggested for voice triggers that are more memorable to you.
- Scheduled Automation- consider requiring notification tap.
- Automation to offer to run when Netflix is started?
Alternative Shortcut titles for Siri voice trigger:
- Quit Netflix to Chill
- It’s Time For Romance
- It’s Go Time
- It’s Business Time
- “Bow-chicka-wowow”
- It’s Date Night
- For Those About To Rock
- Dirty Deeds, Done with Tech
- Let There Be Rock
Bonuses in Shortcut comments:
- At each step the reason/benefit for that step and its impact on habit or cognition is explained.
- Suggestions and additional home ideas are offered to customize this rather... personal experience.
Good luck, and good night! 😉
--Brittany
P.S. Shortcut bonuses, reference-only:
Why turn the Apple Watch to Bedtime mode?:
- Keep your watch on to close that “Move” ring
- To avoid distractions. It’s automatically a Do Not Disturb, so you won’t be interrupted by calls, etc
- It dims the watch face — makes it completely dark unless tapped on
- So you don't accidentally tap buttons on your watch. In bedtime mode, you have to turn the crown to interface and push buttons.
- if don't want to actually turn on sleep mode in your Apple Watch, you could use a combination of Theater mode, water mode, and DND to still keep your watch from distracting
Import Q's
- Select your smart TV that can use HomeKit. (If you don’t have a TV that uses HomeKit, remove this action)
- Change to reflect the fun variety you like to bring into the bedroom. If this isn’t your thing, remove the menu action
- Examples of variety, themes, costumes, or activities to spice things up. (To reduce decision fatigue of choosing yourself.)
- Select a music playlist that gets you in the moooood… (if you haven’t made one, now is the time to go do that.)
- What’s the playback destination for your playlist? (HomePod? Phone? Other speaker?)
- Examples of variety, themes, costumes, or activities to spice things up. (To reduce decision fatigue of choosing yourself.)
- Select the least direct, least overhead HomeKit light in the bedroom to turn on. Change it to a warm color temperature, if possible.
- Select the not-sexy lights (especially overhead) and turn the off. Along with anything else connected to HomeKit that might get in the way. e.g. Extra lights, security cameras (unless you want them on...)
- If you have other intimacy-enabling smart devices (or smart plugs), turn them on. Some ideas:
- electric diffuser connected to Wemo for a sexy scent
- heater or air conditioner
- lights that mimic candle light
- a smart pet food dispense to encourage your pets to leave the bedroom…)
Shortcut Comments
Everything we do strengths or weakens a habit. If you and your partner have been Netflixing, but sometimes forget to “chill”, this Shortcut is for you. Or anyone who wants to set the mood for love with home automation. Because what’s sexier than automation??
Consider setting up an automation to remind you to start it a few nights per week. Or triggering when you open the Netflix app??
Alternative Shortcut titles for Siri voice trigger: Quit Netflix to Chill It’s Time For Romance It’s Go Time It’s Business Time “Bow-chicka-wowow” It’s Date Night For Those About To Rock Dirty Deeds, Done with Tech Let There Be Rock
Turns off the TV to avoid defaulting to tv binging over intimacy. Allow automation to help you pick the best default behavior for you in advance. Tired us don’t always make the best choices
If you don’t have a HomeKit TV, delete the action. Or if this action isn’t reliable, you can delete it, or move it to run last.
If you’re into themes or dressing up, this could reduce the decision fatigue in picking something and starting it. It makes it more likely to try again next time.
Replace with your own adult themes. Or remove, if that’s not your thing.
Turn on default focus mode “Sleep”. In addition to blocking distracting texts or calls that could ruin the mood, sleep mode in Apple Watch dims the screen and requires turning the crown to interact with the watch via touch.
No more accidentally turning on the watch flashlight or calling your mother-in-law at awkward times. … Or was that just me?
Takes your playlist of song to get in the mood, plays them, and sends them to the speaker of your choice. Enhancing the sights and sound of the environment pairs with experience to put us in the mood faster.
If you don’t already have a playlist of sexy songs, you’ll need to make that
Select the least direct, least overhead HomeKit light in the bedroom and change it to a warm color temperature, if possible. Our brains evolved to relax with low, warm light such as a sunset or fire.
Alert gives you a chance to wait until everything else is prepared to hit the final “go!” before shutting off the overhead lights. (It might take a while to lace up those boots! And putting on eyeliner in the dark, never a great idea.)
When you’re ready, shut off all the not-sexy lights. (And anything else that is connected to HomeKit that might get in the way.)
If you have other intimacy-enabling smart devices (or smart plugs), turn them on. Some ideas:
- electric diffuser connected to Wemo for more aroma ambiance
- heater or air conditioner (depending on whether you run hot or cold)
- lights that mimic candle light
- a smart pet food dispenser to encourage your pets to leave the bedroom… (bonus Pavlov Points if your dog starts salivating when they hear Marvin Gaye)